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Sell the violin to George W. Bush
That's right!
There is nobody like the 43rd President of the United States of America who would appreciate the vast magnitude of the importance of the third planet of the star Sol of the Milky Way galaxy's smallest violin!
You head off to his residence to sell the violin, where you are subsequently tackled by startled Secret Service Agents, who cannot even BEGIN to fathom the importance of selling crushed chips of wood with a few strings to the man they guard 24 hours a day.