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Golden Whip of Unusualness
It was forged centuries ago by Antonius, the famous Roman whip maker. He slaved over forge and latrine for thirteen months, crafting it with unseen care. It was to be his greatest effort, a whip of mind and sound, capable of touching the furthest stars or just wrapping around a root so you can swing to freedom. In any case, it was pretty special, this whip.
The very second the whip was complete, thirteen magical ninjas from the future leapt into the room with a gentle "BAMF". With coordinated effort, they stole the whip and vanished into the distant future, which happened to be in the late 17th century, in mystical ancient Japan. They presented the magical whip to their feudal lord, who instantly became a sumo wrestler. It was at this point that pretty much everyone figured that this whip was unusual.
Showing the wisdom that only comes from one thousand pounds of protective blubber the Feudal lord-turned Sumo Wrestler decided to give the whip to the evil yokai Gashadokuro. The Sumo-Lord sent his three bravest Mystic Ninjas to deliver the package. After traveling through Central Park in circa 1960's New York, they found themselves at the dreaded lair of Gashadokuro. They presented the whip to the evil yokai, and in celebration the yokai's Mariachi band praised the yokai's newest weapon with classics from the 70's, 80's, and 90's. The Mystic Ninjas, who realized that they had given their Sumo-Lord's enemy the keys to taking over the world, tried to atone but instead ended up floating forever in outer space.
Gashadokuro decided the best use of the whip would be to create an army of unusualness. So he captured the greatest mystics of the land to discern out the secret of the whip. After becoming space aliens, the mystics told Gashadokuro the horrible truth. The whip was so unusual that anyone who even looked at it would instantly be subjected to its power. So Gashadokuro placed the whip in an iron box, only to be used on his worst enemies.
Sadly, because of Murphy's law, thirteen winged monkeys attacked Gashadokuro and stole the iron box containing the whip. Paula Abdul, the leader of the winged monkeys, took it to the Lady Isabella of Spain, who held the monkeys in thrall. Isabella knew the true power of the Whip. She knew that its power was sadly uncontrollable at best. So, she carefully hid it on a ship sailing to the new world.
After a long and difficult journey the ship touched down on Mars. Anthony Rodgers carefully stepped onto the red, sandy soil, only to be eaten alive by several thousand hungry tigers, who seemed to be coming from a distant cave. It was there, inside that cave, that poor Antonius, the unusual blacksmith, made his weapons. After the hungry tigers ravaged the first mars colonists, they disappear'd into the Mists of Avalon. So, Antonius took his whip back to his cave, where it remains to this day.