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Order two of the waiters to fight to the death.
"You two," you shout to two random waiters, "Fight to the death! Now!"
The waiters look at you as though you've said something silly. After an awkward silence, on of them pipes up, "Why, exactly, should I fight Jack here to the death?" He asks.
"Because I said so!" you shout! "Do as I say!"
The guy the other one called Jack sighs sadly. "Hey Joe!" he shouts to the back room. "Call up the asylum, we've got another crazy!"
"Why aren't you fighting to the death?!" you angrily shout. Then you black out, mainly because Jack smashed an empty bottle on your head.
You awaken in a padded room, wearing a straightjacket.