Devil's List

A reckoning of every natural feature named after Lucifer in the contiguous United States.

Arkansas

Devil's Den: Devil's Den State Park is named after the "rugged geologic formations" in the area but seems better known as a family campground and "Lake Devil" swimming hole. Not very hellish. 1/10

Devil's Golf Course: In Death Valley National Park is an expanse that is somehow both flat and rough with jagged salt-encrusted lumps. Some of the worst people on the planet build golf courses and play golf. Maybe the Devil can utilize this land as a suitably hellish punishment for them. 10/10

Devil's Playground: Near the summit of Pike's Peak is a field of boulders near a cliff named so because of "the way lightning jumps from rock to rock during a thunderstorm" but also it's right next to a parking lot for folks driving up to the top of the mountain. Devil's Parking Lot. 4/10

Satan's Kingdom: You'd expect a place called Satan's Kingdom to be hellish and dry, but Satan's Kingdom State Park seems verdant and wet, with the whitewater rapids of the Farmington River being its primary draw. 4/10
Satan's Dog Bowl: A small cliff in Mattatuck State Forest good for scampering over and little else. May have once been visited by The Leatherman, Connecticut's own legendary human cryptid. 2/10

Devil's Millhopper: A 120 foot deep sinkhole in Gainsville, Florida. I didn't know anything could be 100 feet deep in Florida and not be full of water. Definitely something devilish going on. 7/10

Devil's Creek: A ravine in Peoria that briefly cuts between bluffs along the Illinois river before cutting through a water treatment plant and joining the river. Probably impressive for people who are used to flat cornfields. 1/10
Devil's Kitchen Lake: In a rare non-flat portion of llinois is Devil's Kitchen Lake, a man-made reservoir built during the Great Depression. It's full of all kinds of old dead trees and snags left behind when the disused valley was flooded and as such it's dangerous to fast boats or swimmers. 4/10

Satan's Sunrise: A short bike trail in Gunpowder Falls State Park. No discernible connection to the father of lies. 1/10

Devil Canyon: A Canyon near the Wyoming border on the Crow Indian Reservation. If you've ever seen a picture of a dramatically U shaped canyon, it's this one. 9/10

Devil's Punch Bowl Lake: In the Valentine National Wildlife Refuge deep among the sandy cattle hills lies this small round pond. It is completely typical among the lakes of this poorly drained area. Whoever named it should have drowned himself in it so it would at least be slightly cursed. 1/10
Devil's Slide: A dirty little ravine in a ridge overlooking the Missouri River. Seems minimally treacherous, I'll give it that. 3/10

Devil's Hole: A hot wet crack in Death Valley. Thanks to geothermal heating the water at the surface is always close to body temperature. Houses the entire population of a species of pupfish that live in a dark hot low-oxygen environment smaller than an Olympic swimming pool. 6/10

Devil's Hole: Devil's Hole State Park sits along the edge of Niagara Gorge downstream of Niagara Falls. Within it, there's a little cave called Devil's Hole. The devil has many holes, and this is one of them. 2/10

Devil's Courthouse: A fairly nondescript cliff face in Pisgah National Forest. Notable chiefly because most of the Blue Ridge mountains are completely covered in vegetation. 3/10

Devil's Punchbowl: An extremely cool rock formation on the oregon coast that fills and drains with the tides. Definitely means you ill. 10/10

Devil's Step Island: Tim's Ford State Park on the Tim's Ford Reservoir is home to several islands, including Devil's Step Island. The island has a paddle-in primitive campsite. It is unclear what the island's relation (or step relation) to the Devil is. 2/10

Devil's Sinkhole: Devil's Sinkhole State Natural Area is yet another of Satan's dark holes. This one at least is famously full of bats, which is a bit devilish. 5/10

Devil's Fork: Unclear why this state park featuring a picturesque clear mountain lake is named after the devil. The most interesting thing in this area is a rare white flower. 2/10

Devils Tower: A big thick butte that juts high above the black hills. One of the rock formations that makes weirdos believe trees used to be huge because it kind of looks like a huge tree stump. Ignore the fact that giant prehistoric tree stumps would require a prehistoric Paul Bunyan cutting them down. 7/10

Devil's Tea Table: A tree-covered hill on the Pecatonica River outside of Browntown, Wi. Barely perceptible as a location. Could be an overgrown gravel pile. Utterly uninspiring. 0/10