The love thingy

You choose the most attractive looking apple at the supermarket and, completely omitting the cheese and oranges, you leave the supermarket with the apple with plans to take it out for the night of it's life.

You take it to the fanciest restaurant within a 1,000 billion nanometer radius. You treat the apple to the most expensive meal on the menu.

Finally, when you feel the time is right, you gather up your courage, display an engagement ring, and propose to the apple. The apple just sits there for the longest time.

Longer.

Longer still.

After a few days, you finally take a hint that the apple doesn't accept. Heartbroken, you grab the apple and throw it out the nearest window (Wow, great throwability).

Then you proceed to grab some dynamite, stick it in the apple, and ignite it. It blows up spectacularly spreading apple guts in every direction. (Wow, great explodability).

Finally, you gather up all the apple guts into one great pile, and attempt to set it on fire (after adding lighter fluid of course). The Pile instantly erupts into flames. (Wow, great flammability.)

You stand over the flames, laughing maniacally. "If I can't have it," you shout, "no one can!"

Well, you've performed your experiment, now we must gather the data.

Flammability: Good

Explodability: Good

Throwability: Fair

Ability to feel love: None observed

You submit the experiment to the science community/cult with the following conclusion.

Apples may seem warm and friendly on the outside, and even so on the inside, but on the inside of the inside, they're mean and rotten to the core. Possible sources of error are as follows:

First: Despite my extreme genius, I'm still a moron.

Secondly: I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

GAME OVER

Try Again?

Deep WIP Ending