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Its unfortunate, but as it turns out that BattleMech was actually a Human Trap set up by an advanced alien race. They correctly determined that the most appealing thing to the average human was the cockpit of an advanced walking battle tank and as such designed their trap after it.

So, to make a long story short you're dumped on an enormous flat expanse of terrain with a human of the opposite sex, and are asked to "Demonstrate the courtship ritual known as 'kissing'."

If it helps, you figure the human to be fairly attractive.

WIP Choice Nexus Aliens