Recent Articles
- The Simpsons
- Tifa
- Old Gregg
- Bias
- Anime
- Print On Demand
- GRAY GRAN
- Gunk
- Earth
- Warning
- Magic User's Club
- Homebrew
- Christmas
- Omega Kitty
- The Little Protractor That Could
- Methods of Escape
- People Who Don't Live in Cardboard Towns
- Smoking
- Padiddle
- Pokemon Soccer
- Punching People in the Head
- Purple Balcony of Doom and Altoids
- New Years Resolutions
- Farmers
- Golden Whip of Unusualness
Friends of the Encyclopedia
|
| This website and its contents are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License |
Say "I wish I was big."
"I wish I was big," you happily proclaim. Then you push the button. A little card comes out of the machine. With trembling hands you read it.
"Don't we all. Loser."
You're not about to let a wooden swami make a mockery of you! Screaming angrily, you grab the machine and lift it over your head. Then you proceed to throw it. It goes about 50 feet. Not satisfied with its fate, you sprint over to the toppled machine and punch it like it's a car in Final Fight. When you finish, it's nothing more then a twisted mess of metal. Your task finished. You gather up the quarters that fell out of its shattered change compartment and walk away.
As you reach the park exit, two policemen confront you. "Excuse me," one of them says, "But are you the one who just shattered a Zoltar machine in a fit of arcade machine rage?"
"Yes," you reply.
"You're under arrest for destruction of property. Come quietly, and this will be much easier for all of us."