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Have the guards behead the impartial third party
Your guards are quick to follow your orders, and soon the impartial third party's head is rolling on the ground. Good work!
Unfortunately, as soon as the third party's head stops rolling, the carefully laid out revenge of Bill Gates and Chevy Chase goes into effect. The details of your death are sketchy, but it is known that your life ended about the time when your brain melted due to the blast from the orbital laser.
GAME OVER