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Dial 0800-SEXY-MOMMA
"If you're looking for a good time," comes a voice from the other end of the phone, "you've come to the right place. Here at SEXY-MOMMA, we aim to please."
It's probably for the best that the person on the other end can't see you, as the drool that's starting to run down your chin isn't particularly conducive to having a good time. Being more or less incapable of coherent speech due to having a rather, uhh, "faulty" brain, you just make vague grunting noises down the phone.
"If you want to chat with Brenda, please press one. If you want to chat with Stephanie, please press two. If you want to chat with Robert, please, stay on the line."
You start to reach towards the phone.